ONE SPECIAL LITTLE MOMENT WITH THE CHILDREN

Think I have said here before that I don't get many chances to be with the children when we are on programme, because my role is more of a support one.
You know, all of those essential daily chores, like driving, shopping, cleaning and cooking (Just call me Cinderella!)
There are so many special moments for me with the kids though, and maybe those moments are more special for me because they occur only occasionally.
There was one late afternoon, when I arrived at the Special Needs Centre to collect a group of volunteers from what I know would have been a long and tiring day. When I arrived though, all of the volunteers were still outside with the children playing ball games and obviously having a great time, so I just sat back to one side and watched while I gave them all a little more time to enjoy the end of their busy day.
I spent a few minutes watching and shouting encouragement and occasionally fetching the odd stray ball and throwing it back into the melee.
As I watched I looked over and I saw one of the little girls who was resident at the centre sitting on some steps. As usual she was just sitting there, staring downwards and rocking to and fro, it was what she did most of the time, seemingly lost in her own solitary world concentrating her vision onto the cold bare concrete below her feet.
I moved slowly and went to sit on the steps too, but not too close.
I am no expert with special needs children, but one thing I do know is that every one is different and very few enjoy having their private space invaded by a stranger.

As I sat down, I was aware that she gave me a very brief glance out of the corner of her eye, so I just sat still where I was while she carried on rocking backwards and forwards. I stayed quiet whilst I was sitting there, no more raucous conversation with the volunteers on the field and playground, I didn't want to disturb what was happening next to me. 
As I sat there I heard her talking quietly to herself, her words matching the rhythm of her rocking, she was speaking her usual words. Words that we had heard her use so often before;

"Shut-up!   Be Quiet!"

It was in Romanian, of course, but these were the only words we ever hear her speak. To hear them almost breaks your heart, because you also knew that when she was at home as a baby, these were the only words that she ever heard. They were her only means of verbal communication.

"Shut-up!   Be Quiet!"

After a few minutes of sitting I leaned forward and picked up a couple of small stones from between my feet and started to play with them and roll them around in my fingers. As I leaned forward I noticed, or at least I thought I noticed, that this little girl also leaned forward further, matching my movement, I also noticed that she had stopped her usual quiet chant. I looked over at her briefly, and for an instant she looked at me too, out of the corner of her eye.
I wasn't sure whether I was correct in what I had seen, so I decided to try again, and I leaned forward, slowly. As I did I looked at her and she too leaned forward further, matching what I did. As I sat back up I rocked slightly further back to match her movements and then, very slowly I continued rocking matching her movements exactly.
She was in charge, if at any moment she showed any sign of upset by what I was doing I would have stopped and if necessary moved away. Instead of being upset though I was aware of another movement from her, as well as rocking to and fro she slid herself slightly along the step to move a little closer to me. as she did so she also gave me another of her sideways glances, I knew I that she too was being as cautious with me as I was being with her, we were both trying each other out. This time though, she looked for a little longer, slid a little closer, and she smiled! It was only a very slight smile, but it was definitely a smile!
I felt great, in such a brief time, by doing something as simple as rocking backwards and forwards with her I had made some sort of contact with her, she knew it, I knew it, and although I had instigated it, almost by accident, she was the one making all of the decisions on how this contact would go.
We carried on rocking backwards and forwards, slowly, in unison, matching each others movements, but we were a team now, 'Rocking' in every sense of the word.
Slowly, bit by bit, millimetre by millimetre, she moved closer, I also moved closer to her, which seemed to give her confidence, it was almost like an invitation, and in no time, she was sitting right next to me.
She looked at me, fully into my eyes and she grinned!
It was an enormous grin too. It was almost as if she was saying;

"Got you!"

I just looked at her and I laughed, while she carried on grinning.
We had both stopped rocking, she became intent on my watch, holding my arm, playing with the strap. 
We sat like that for about twenty minutes, her holding tightly onto my arm, playing with my watch strap, and occasionally watching the volunteers and the other kids playing ball, and occasionally giving each other a little smile. 
While we were like that though she didn't say a word, although with another child that silence would have been worrying, with this little girl it was wonderful not to hear her chanting those horrible words, even for a little while.

Then one of the children's carers came out to call them all inside, to get ready for their evening meal. As she heard the call, the little girl grasped my arm a little more tightly, and at first I thought that she didn't want me to leave, but actually I think it was her way of saying goodbye. Within seconds though one of the other children arrived and sat on the other side of her, as he sat down she immediately let go of me and grabbed hold of his arm. 
This little boy, a little older than her, was her occasional companion, I had seen them together at other times, smiling at each other and arm in arm, just as the little girl and I had been. He had been playing ball with the other children until the call to go inside had come, at which time he had come over to escort her home.

Sometimes it really is just the littlest things that can make a moment so special. This was definitely one of those moments. Just a few minutes when I been allowed into the world of this little girl, a world that always seems so dark, so full of horrible history, but a world which I had just discovered also contained a little cheek, and a little absolutely normal childhood mischief.

How many more of those special moments do we have to come when we work with the children?
I know there will be many more moments, but how many could be as special as this?
I'll tell you for myself, there will be many many more moments and some even more special than this.

Steve

Wouldn't you like to come and create your own special moments? Moments like this that will last you a lifetime?                                               www.volunteerromania.co.uk

JUST BIRDS IN THE WINTER GARDEN

This year, for the first time we are seeing bird feeders for sale in the shops.
During our first two winters here there were no such things, and winters here are cold, sometimes down to -20 deg C or lower.
We watched the birds in the garden, just sitting, scratching where they could for food and at times scratching into brick walls trying to find non-existent insects.
Most of the time though they would just sit, in trees, on fences, on walls puffing up their feathers trying to keep warm.
So, we set about making feeders for them, not knowing where to start at first, learning as we went along.
By chance we had a big lump of soft pig fat given to us by a friend. We weren't too sure what we supposed to do with it for ourselves, but it was an ideal start to feeding the birds.
So out came a pan, in went the fat, seeds and some dried fruit, and I rolled it all in to balls about 3 inches in diameter.
The next problem was how to present these to the birds in a way that they would see the fat balls and be able to feed from them.
That's when the netting bags from potatoes bought in the supermarket came in handy. We cut these up and wrapped them around the fat balls, tying them at the top with string, which also gave us something to hang them up with.
Next, being the considerate people we are we gave the birds something to perch on by pushing two bamboo kebab skewers through each of the balls, although these later proved to be superfluous as, of course, the birds could grip onto the netting.
Then we hung them in a place not too far from the back windows of the house so that we could have the pleasure of watching the birds feed from them, but also safe from local cats. We also strung some whole peanuts together and hung them from trees in the garden.
Once we had hung about four strings of peanuts and the fat balls we hid away in the house and waited eagerly for the birds to arrive. We waited, we waited, and we waited. It never struck us while we were making the feeders that Romanian birds aren't used to being fed in this way, so they didn't realize that this was free food for them. Food which would help them survive the winter.
Eventually, on the third day a Great Tit arrived. It just sat on the fence below the feeders occasionally glancing up at the fat balls in that half sideways manner that they do. Then suddenly it flew up, perched on a kebab stick and eagerly started pecking away!
It was  a great feeling, and within minutes he was joined by a large number of his pals.

During our first winter there wasn't a lot we could do apart from chop wood to try and keep warm and watch the birds. At some points we had over 40 of them squabbling over who's turn it was at the feeder, and it was difficult to keep up with them getting the fat balls out fast enough, each of which would last about 3 days at best.
We also occupied ourselves by photographing them. We took the photographs through the glass of the back window, which affected the quality of the photos somewhat, but it still felt good to be able to do it, and to record the success of our little endeavour.
We aren't expert bird watchers, but with some confidence we can say that we had Great Tits, Blue Tits, Coal Tits, Nuthatches, Sparrows, and some Lesser Spotted Woodpeckers visit our feeders, amongst many others. It was such a pleasure, even though we would get the occasional Kestrel swoop down to try and take one of them. Thankfully they never succeeded, not while we were watching anyway.

The bird life here in Romania really is wonderful, still thriving because of the largely unspoilt nature of the country. We live in  part of the world where we have woodland as well as open heath and also some water, which adds to the diversity of the different species we see. During Spring, Summer and Autumn I never tire of watching what the locals call 'Eagles' cruise over the top of the hill behind us. Not sure what they are though other than perhaps being some sort of large Kite, maybe one day someone will tell me.
It's amazing what can be seen though when your eyes are opened by living a different sort of life to the one we were used to in the UK.

Steve

www.holiday-romania.co.uk
www.volunteer-romania.co.uk

WITH VOLUNTEER ROMANIA AND THE CHILDREN - WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT

When I'm working with Volunteer Romania, I am as much of an unpaid volunteer as those people who come from all over the world are.
Unfortunately, I get very few chances to actually spend time with the children, my role is more of a support one, running people around, getting materials, doing most of the cooking (not many complaints there I'm pleased to say), etc. So, the chances that I do get are really precious to me, being with all of the children in the various places we work is such a pleasure, always full of smiles. I can't come away from a day when I have been with the children without feeling good, if absolutely dog-tired! (I really do wish children could give energy transplants too!)
The times that I do spend with the children will all stick in my mind forever, whether it be helping to teach English at The Waldorf School or just cuddling a young orphan at the children's home, every one of those times is such a special moment.

When we were asked to help to teach children here English, the first thing we did was ask the children what they would like to know about the UK.....although only a few of the children put their hands up it was a real mistake! The list was enormous! The kids who weren't confident of their English would tell the few who were what they wanted to know and for a short while it was Bedlum!
They wanted to know about all of the different regions in the UK, how 'one' country could be so many 'different' countries, and what the differences were with each.
I said OK that's what we will do, but set off home not really knowing how I could achieve something that seemed like such an enormous task in just five lessons over five weeks, and as soon as I got home started my research to make myself ready. Thank heavens for the world wide web!

We decided that the best thing to do was concentrate on each region separately, so I prepared Powerpoint presentations for each country, starting with Scotland. For each country we did our best to give a clear representation of the different customs, different countryside, different wildlife, different (and joint) histories. With Scotland the kids loved it when I put on my kitchen apron with a kilt on it to show the 'traditional' dress, but of course what they wanted to know most about was The Loch Ness Monster!........."Is it real Steve?"
We carried on talking about Northern Ireland and England itself following much the same subjects, but it was when we got to Wales that it really became fun. I don't know if many of you realize that Prince Charles has homes here in Romania, he loves the country for the same reasons we do. So to the kids he is as much 'Prince Charles of Romania' as he is 'The Prince of Wales' and it gave all the children a sense of being linked up with Wales somehow.
The lessons were a great laugh, and at one point the English teacher accused me of being more of a child than the kids in the class (which I have to admit is true).
The lessons seemed so chaotic to me, and even though I looked forward to each one, I wasn't too sure how much English the children were actually learning, or if they were really of any benefit at all.
When we had finished the initial set of five lessons, we were asked to continue, which I took as an enormous compliment. so, again, we asked the children what they would like to know about. This time when we asked, almost every child in the class put their hands up to ask for something and they all spoke to me in such clear English. It felt fantastic.
I'm not sure that they learnt anything new form us, but I do know that they became more confident in speaking.

Whenever we see any of those same children now, whether it is in town or at the school they all come running up and they talk..........In English!


It's a fantastic feeling.


English is so important, apart form still being the first language in the world in all of it's various forms, it is also the first language of computing, of the internet. having a base knowledge of the language is therefore so important to help these children on their way upwards in the world.


It's  a privilege to be able to assist in a small way with something that is so important, as well as being a real pleasure, and if I can do it, anyone can!    

Steve

www.volunteeromania.co.uk
www.holiday-romania.co.uk

DISILLUSION WITH THE CORPORATE WORLD

I have to be careful writing this.
So many people know where I have come from, where I have been, but I doubt many fully understand what brought me to where I am now.
I wouldn't want to upset any of the people I refer to as I write, I still have a great deal of respect for them, and what we all achieved together back in the old corporate days. I won't use names, I won't actually say where I was during the course of the events that I describe, but you may, and I'm sure you will, attempt to fill in the gaps that I leave for yourself. That is entirely up to you.

Hopefully too, my words will be of interest and a bit of a lesson into how chance comments that are made and how things that are overheard can make an enormous difference to someone who was in my position, they made differences to me that took all of my personal motivation away and caused me to question every aspect of my life in the corporate world, and to think deeply about where my life was going. They also, eventually, led me to leave that life behind for a much better, much more rewarding life, even though my 'new' life has none of the 'benefits' that corporate life seems to give you.
I was lucky, so lucky to be able to escape, even though it cost me a great deal, financially and emotionally. So many are trapped in this corporate life by the rewards, and by what they stand to lose if they leave it. The decision to get out wasn't mine alone, I admit that, but the life I have now is a far far better one, a much more rewarding one, and one in which I can truly be honest with myself and all around me, I don't need to pretend any more. That is a wonderful feeling.

I achieved a relatively senior management position in one company, but that was only after a great deal of struggle in my life. So, I was grateful for that position and I poured myself into the various tasks that I had to undertake heart and soul. I immersed myself into it completely, to the detriment of my personal life, a mistake so many make.
I had a fantastic team working with me, and together we achieved great things.
It was one of those company's that we all felt ownership of, we all had shares in it given to us as part of our annual bonus package, but it was more than that, despite being so large a company we were all a 'family' striving together for the good of the company and for the good of the people we served, our customers.
It was a company that had 'Values' like so many others. 'Values' that we were all supposed to live by to govern the way we all treated each other, and to make our working lives better. Values statements were posted all over the walls of our offices, statements that included words like 'respect',' teamwork', 'trust', 'listen', 'support', 'share knowledge', ''enjoy our work and 'have respect for our communities'.
I really believed in those values, and I tried so hard to live them.
I really believed the corporate hype that we were delivering good to the world in our expansion into other countries.
I even went out to various meetings during my day job and used the words we were being taught and spread the word of the 'good' we were doing myself, and I was very successful in using the hype to deliver what the company needed me to deliver in order to achieve their annual goals.
Like most such large companies we also had sessions and seminars where we discussed all of these things. Meetings and courses that were supposed to make us feel better about ourselves and to work better as teams...'one team'. We discussed the 'Values', we talked about keeping ourselves healthy and about our diets, we were encouraged to 'open up' and tell all about our true feelings. I even saw grown men cry during some of those sessions, the atmosphere of the meetings was so intense. Many of us completely dropped our guards and opened ourselves up entirely for our corporate bosses to see. 
Those were sessions that I now regard as nothing but brain washing, brain washing with only one end, which was to make us better cogs within the corporate machine.
Obvious huh? Only trouble was I didn't realize it then. I believed it all...........even worse.....I believed IN it, and I did my best to live it all.
As part of my role I was required to attend regular meetings with some of the most senior people within the company.
After one of those meetings I was sitting in our smoking room when one of those senior figures came in. In those days he did it quite often, and on this occasion he did the usual thing and bummed a cigarette from me. He, like all of the members of our Board was someone I respected greatly, for his intelligence and his inspiring leadership. He is a charismatic person, loved throughout the company for the person he is, and by rising through the ranks in the company had become a multi-millionaire. I always felt honoured to be treated as a friend by him and to be respected for my knowledge and my specialism, he actually listened to me, which, quite frankly amazed me. He was usually bright, smiling and optimistic, but on this occasion he looked tired and troubled. The meeting we had been in wasn't supposed to discuss the costs of a project, only the technical aspects of it that would affect it's viability, costs were supposed to be dealt with at another, far more senior meeting. However, we had discussed one project at this meeting at length, a difficult project which took the company to a new place in terms of it's growth and the public perception of the company, and inevitably we had discussed the costs that had to be borne to bring that one project in. We weren't always alone as we shared a late evening cigarette after that meeting, and  usually the conversations we had were trivial ones about nothing in particular. This time though we were alone, no-one else was in the smoking room and we continued to talk about this one difficult project and how he was going to be able to 'sell' it to the Board when they met. As we finished our second cigarettes he said a few words that were to start me questioning everything about my life. He was never indiscreet, he never said anything to me that he wasn't supposed to say, and I should feel pleased that he felt able to be so candid with me on this occasion, but the words drilled home just as easily as if someone was using hammer drill on my heart.

"After all, we really are only here for one thing, and that is to make our shareholders, who are already very rich people, even richer"

He went on to talk about how those shareholders needed to be convinced that such a large investment, when there were so many other cheaper opportunities, would be a good investment and would yield greater profits for them than the others. I didn't really hear any of his subsequent words, I had just had my whole life blown away. OK I know I was a shareholder in the  company too, but I wasn't the sort of person he was talking about. I actually believed in the 'Values', that we had, I actually believed in the corporate hype that we were delivering good to the world, and I had completely immersed myself into that life on the basis of that hype. I definitely wasn't doing what i did just to make rich people richer.
When I drove home that evening, I was tempted to stop and have a drink, just to think, but instead I parked up along a country road and went for a walk, a long walk. By the time I returned to my car it was already getting dark. I had thought through the whole of my day and my conversation in the evening, and even though it had affected me so much I decided that I had to put it behind me, try to ignore it and get on with things in the best way I could.
That's what I did, I hid the conversation away in the back of my mind and I carried on getting on with my job. A few weeks later, I was present at the meeting where the finances of the difficult project were discussed. The meeting was chaired by the CEO of the company, and much to my pleasure (and a sly wink from the Director I had spoken with) it was approved, and eventually went ahead.
Things carried on like this for some time, I carried on in the way I always had done, doing my best to live the 'Values' and to deliver what was right for our customers. However, I was also aware of a nagging doubt that I now had in my mind. I was aware of a larger number of fundamental questions that arose in my head when I was at some of the later meetings. I didn't dare air any of the questions that did come in to my head at any of the meetings, but maybe I should have done, maybe I should have been braver. Doing so would probably have speeded up my exit from the corporate world anyway!
I'm certain that my colleagues would have seen a difference in me, would have sensed a greater cynicism in me than they had seen before, but none actually said anything to me about it.
Then, a few months later I was to hear of another instance of more candid, unguarded words, this time from the CEO of the company, and when I heard them they completely destroyed everything that I had come to believe in within the company. It was another one of those difficult, financial approval meetings, and as usual our CEO was honest and straight with his opinions regarding certain proposals made by another Technical Director within the company, and his refusal of those proposals. There was no open vote, the CEO just refused it, bluntly, as he had a right to do. Upon hearing the CEO's frank views the Technical Director said;

"I don't think that is living the 'values' very well" 

To which he received this very firm response from the CEO, as he pointed at the entrance to the Board Room;

"That crap stays outside that door!"

When I heard those words my corporate world came crumbling down. I had just been so naive, so trusting, so open to all of the suggestion, so succumbing to all of the brain washing.

It was at this time that words from my youth came flowing back into my mind. Words that may appear now to be crass, pretentious and from another time, but words that I had once promised myself to try and live by, but also words which I had forced into the deep recesses of my mind to be forgotten.

They are words form a very old album by a band called The Moody Blues. The album was called 'Threshold of A Dream', and as with many of their albums it had pieces of poetry intertwined into the great music they played. It was the final verse of this one poem that was there again. The whole poem takes the form of a conversation one man was having as part of the struggles going on in his mind, and it is called 'In The Beginning';

Man:

 I think, I think I am, therefore I am, I think.

Establishment: 

Of course you are my bright little star,

I’ve miles and miles of files

Pretty files of your forefather’s fruit

And now to suit our Great computer,

You’re magnetic ink.

Man: 

I’m more than that, I know I am, at least, I think I must be.

Inner man: 

There you go man, keep as cool as you can.

Face piles and piles of trials with smiles.

It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave

So, keep on thinking free.

Yes I know, some people might think that the words are crass, pretentious, in some ways meaningless, definitely very 'hippie', definitely very outdated, but at the time, and ever since, very meaningful for me, just as the words were when I was young.
I wish i could say that I just stood up and walked out at that point, that I went and did a 'Reggie Perrin'. I'm afraid that I didn't though, I carried on trying, I carried on trying to pretend, but my heart wasn't in it any more
In the months, years following over which my painful exit from the corporate world occurred I tried to move on, to start again, to renew my faith, but I couldn't.
Ironically it was another entirely unrelated 'Corporation' that enabled us to come to this new life and work in the way we wanted to, with the children of Romania. Another 'Corporation' with 'Values' dedicated apparently to making a difference in this world. They proved to be just the same though as any other large company in the corporate world and after only six months of running a programme with children in Romania, they pulled out because the 'top line' wasn't good enough. We should have known. 
There is more to be told now of how my new life came to me, it was bought to me, in a sudden unexpected moment. After that I suffered badly from stress caused by a very messy and painful divorce, and my work suffered badly as a result. I also became unwittingly involved in office politics that were designed to remove me, and they did, but I give thanks for that every day, because my life now is an honest one, no pretence, no brain washing, and I live every day just being me, 'thinking free' if you like.


Steve

A SPECTACULAR RE-ENACTMENT AT CORVIN CASTLE, HUNEDOARA

Last night around 150 actors and stuntment held a spectacular re-enactment of Vlad Tepes victory over the Turks at Corvin Castle, Hunedoara.

Around 1000 people went to watch the re-enactment and it was shown on national TV.

The Romanians are so proud of their history, and enjoy celebrating a history that has kept them true Romanians.

http://observator.a1.ro/social/Batalie-istorica-la-castelul-Corvinilor_69635.html

Steve

www.holiday-romania.co.uk

www.volunteerromania.co.uk

ME, HOLIDAY ROMANIA, AND VOLUNTEER ROMANIA

If you didn't already realize Holiday Romania and Volunteer Romania are one and the same!
Our primary aim is to bring volunteers from all over the world to help with the orphaned, special needs and disadvantaged children we work with.
This is my own blog, but it will always be linked to the work that we do with those kids, because we love it, and to try and promote Romania worldwide as the wonderful country that it is, and do you know that so many people don't even know where Romania is, hence the new map.
We know that volunteering is an expensive business. 

The wonderful Blight family from America, who volunteered with us for
two weeks. They created so many smiles on the children's faces
and have a place in our hearts forever.

Our volunteer programmes provide for full 24 hour support for the people who come here, including accommodation, food, transport, materials for the programmes, etc, etc, and the occasional treats for the kids, so maybe you can understand why those costs are so high, even though we have done our best to cut them to the bone.
Holiday Romania was something we decided to do primarily for those people who can't afford to volunteer  but would still like to visit. We can cater for individual hosteller's as well as families, for a very very cheap price, and the little that we do make from holiday stayers goes into our funds for working with the children.
Over the last year we have had over 60 people stay with us, both holidaying and volunteering, and everyone who visits gets to leave their mark here with a handprint on our handprint wall. They also take a little of Romania with them in their hearts, and so many want to return, they will always be welcome.

Steve

www.holiday-romania.co.uk
www.volunteerromania.co.uk

GOOGLED MY OWN NAME! - MISTAKE

It's amazing what comes up when you Google your own name, not sure what I should make of this though!
Comments below please, don't keep it all to yourself!

Steve

www.holiday-romania.co.uk
www.volunteerromania.co.uk